One of my children finds it extremely difficult to apologise. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, she will try anything to pass the blame onto someone else, and when that fails she will just refuse point blank to say ‘sorry’.
I wouldn’t like to identify which child it is ( it’s not the oldest, youngest or second youngest!!) as that would be unfair, having said that she seems to think EVERYTHING is unfair.
She has always been strong willed and, if I’m honest, I think in a lot of ways this is to be admired. Life can be tough so some self determination and stubbornness can be great attributes at times but figuring out how to encourage these traits and yet getting her to realise she has to accept and acknowledge when she is wrong is something I’m struggling to figure out!
We knew that there was trouble ahead a long while back, on a trip home to Granny and Grandads she dropped an apple on the ground, Grandad asked her to pick it up…she said no, Grandad wasn’t sure what to do but spend 30 mins asking her to pick it up, she refused point blank.
It would be an understatement to say that Grandad was horrified. She was only 4 but as stubborn as a mule. We headed away for the day and she was denied all the treats that the others were allowed. She didn’t seem that fazed by the punishment and on return that evening when she saw Grandad’s jeep in the drive she announced ‘I’m still not picking up the apple’.
We had an hour long stand off again this week, she refused to apologise to her sister, it is exhausting and upsets everyone and although I try to appeal to her better nature, she can be incredibly sweet and kind, the battle of wills is head wrecking.
The only thing in my favour is my stubbornness (she didn’t pick it up from the ground!!) but I continually look for ways to avoid these head on battles. I would love to know that as she gets older she will realise the consequence of not apologising. The word ‘sorry’ can be a very powerful thing….but only if you use it.