So tonight’s bed time with the three year old went exactly like this…
Him: Are Emo and Nemo the same?
Me: No, Emo is a place and Nemo is a fish.
Him: So where did we go today?
Me: We went to Emo
Him: Did we go left or right?
Me: We went left.
Him: Is that this way or that way?
Me: Well you’re pointing up and down, so neither.
Him: What does neither mean?
Me: You need to settle down and go to sleep.
Him: Was the girls name Barbara or Vardra?
Me: Her name is Barbara
Him: I think I’ll call her Vardra
Few minutes of silence
Him: Was the tree big or small?
Me: Which tree?
Him: The big one.
Me: It was big
Him: It was small when it was little
Me: Yes it was, but you need to settle down now and sleep.
20 seconds of silence
Him: Does all poo smell?
Me: Yes, all poo smells.
Him: But what if it wasn’t a smelly poo?
Me: All poo smells.
Him: Does a swans poo smell?
Me: Yes a swans poo smells.
Him: Can I be a swan when I’m a grown up?
Me: No, your a person, so you can’t be a swan.
Him: But I want to be a swan.
Me: Well if you go straight to sleep now then maybe you can be a swan when you grow up.
Him: You need to stop talking Mommy, I’m tired and can’t sleep with all your talking!!!!
Pass the wine!!