We are almost all guilty of it, it happens to most of us. We are excited about something, we share it. We are annoyed about something, we share it. Social media had become a huge part of our lives we rarely even think about it as being more than a platform of our emotions.
But what if people don’t want to hear it, what if people are truly upset about it, is it still ok to share it.
I don’t watch soaps because they take threads of real life and weave a drama…I feel life is too short to get hooked on such nonsense.
But lately I feel this is also true of the blogging world. It is all very well to be honest, and I hope most blogs are. It is all very well to be a reflection on real life and I hope that most blogs are.
But discussing the minute of relationships, of family matters, of personal matters…does this cross the line of soap opera and real life…well I think it does.
I think people need to reflect on the difference between sharing and over-sharing. I’m not convinced that exposing every grim detail of your life benefits either you or your readers.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe people want the nitty gritty of everyday struggles, but even if they do, does that really help you
I don’t want to blog ‘the better version of me’ but neither do I want to read ‘the worst version of you’.
Maybe I’ve my head in the sand, but I’m happy that way…if you’re not, well that’s ok too.
Maybe I need to toughen up, but you know what…I don’t want to.
I blog my real life but not every aspect..is this disingenuous…I don’t think so, what do you think?
I only share what I'm comfortable with, if I have a lot going on I tend to back away from blogging for a bit til I feel ready because the world and its mother doesn't need to know everything about me, I try to give an insight into my life while still keeping it light, people don't need to know everything about you xx
That's it Sara, I would be the same. At times I feel reading blogs is intrusive, like I know too much! I blog only what my friends would know…not every aspect of my life. Love reading yours BTW 😊
I use my blog to off load but sometimes I hint at what is happening rather than give the gritty details, and of course few things affect me alone, and it's not fair on other people to write their stories for them, so I constantly find that I'm treading a fine line!
It is a fine line isn't it and I think once you are aware of it then you can navigate it well. At time I think people get so used to sharing that they lose sight if where the line is.
Nicely said. not only do people not need to know such detail about other peoples lives, it is such a massive security risk on them and their family. I think people have become very comfortable with the World Wide Web and forget how many different types of people have access to their personal stories, where they are from checking in, what they & their kids look like. Saw a scary example on the internet this week but too long to type! I try to keep identities & personal info to a minimum.
Really good points
This is an infinitely fascinating subject, and I don't think it's possible to blog wisely with giving it due consideration from time-to-time.
It sounds like you're happy enough with the limits of your own sharing. I rely on anonymity because I'm fairly private anyway, but it also acts as a shield to let me express myself more freely. That said, I don't overly disclose details of my life. On the rare occasion I do, I'm thoroughly comfortable with it, and I try to do it responsibly. I think in disclosing details there's a balance between respecting reader's reaction (including the right to think it crosses the line), and keeping your own self-protection in check. But it's a difficult one to judge. What stretches it one for might work differently for another. I'm uncompromising about sharing anything about my daughter's life in detail because I feel obliged to protect her privacy, but I can acknowledge and accept the prevailing culture of sharing family life and all the camaraderie that stems from it. It's just not for me. There's certainly a lot of emotional porn online, and a culture of externalising much, but many writers do use the net wisely and often creatively and creative other forms of camaraderie between who have other life experiences. I think there are more questions than definitive answers to this one.
There definitely isn't a one size fits all solution to this one. 'Emotional porn' what a great description! I do think the camaraderie is what makes people forget just how public a space it is. Feedback is great, comments are a great way of gauging reactions to a piece but this can be a tricky one to keep a balance on.
Indeed. And we're being fairly general here because even the discussion on the topic has to be tread carefully. For all I know, you could be referring to sharing an early first semester foetal scan photo, a personal piece on abortion, or the latest annoying ideas from Jo in Fair City who has been planted by the State to issue public service announcements, or all three. Always a good topic to throw out there though, so fair play. 🙂
I heartily agree with this. Sometimes I feel I know way too much about people. And I constantly have it at the back of my mind about the security danger with oversharing nevermind the boring people with too much detail. 🙂 I think that's why I have a more factual blog so I can hide behind non-personal stuff most of the time. It can and does stop me writing some of the stuff I'd like to write though. I think I'd need to do it anonymously.
It's easier when the content is factual based to see the line and not cross it. I think in terms of a personal blog that people feel the need to play their whole lives out in public, like a written version of reality TV! That is a line I hope to stay well away from.
I think you must have been reading my mind, this is something I was only thinking about yesterday. I think I could quite easily become disillusioned with blogging. It's changed a lot in the last few years, the blogging world. There seems to be this need now to share every minute detail, every deepest thought, I'm not sure it sits well with me. Yes there are days when I would probably love nothing more than to offload, but my kids read my blogs so that limits greatly what I can write about, which is no bad thing I suspect.
I'm glad it's not only me! I think the expression 'blog like someone is watching' is apt, because they are, and it's here forever!
I agree completely on two levels. First often what's overshared isn't just the writer's story – it's also someone else's ie someone else's health, life, issue, family etc. Second, why is the story being shared. Often I think there's an intense loneliness to many bloggers and the write their thoughts rather than have a conversation. There's a misplaced sense that comments / shares / likes equates with human contact, which I don't believe it does particularly where those big things are concerned.
Lots to think about!
So true! The online search for validation is worrying as it is so fickle, also people are not 'invested' in you online, a casual remark to them is is just that. I feel people leave themselves so vulnerable when they share very personal detail and often times they are the least equipped to deal with the inevitable online fallout.