Tell Tale Tatler

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There was a time when keeping small secrets was no problem in this house….

You know the kind of secrets that school going children don’t need to hear about.
As far as my girls were concerned, once they were safely delivered to school, the smallest man and I sat at home and waited to collect them.
I never told them this, but they seemed to be under that impression and I didn’t feel the need to change it.
After all,what school going child wants to hear about trips to the park, baby chino dates (sometimes with daddy joining us) and heaven forbid….non ‘treat day’ treats!!
So in the interest of world peace…or at least some form of home peace, we kept quiet about them.
Not quite a secret, but we just didn’t mention them.
When you are out and about with just one child the normal rules tend to slip a little ( or maybe that’s just me!).
The juice ban gets overlooked when we are in a coffee shop.
The ‘Friday is treat day’ gets forgotten when, on a Tuesday, the littlest man does an Oscar winning performance of ‘Noah The Best Boy’ in the butchers and gets offered a lollipop.
And when a small hand slips into yours and a small voice whispers ‘your my best friend’, it’s hard to say no to the packet of smarties.
It’s all fine, as long as his sisters don’t hear about it. And until recently this was no problem. He was never told not to tell, but it just never occurred to him.
Not any more!!!
These days, the girls are hardly in the door when he starts..
‘Momma and me went for coffee and cake’
‘We met Dada in the park and he pushed me on the swings’
‘The butcher man gave me a lollipop’
These remarks unleash ear splitting wails from the girls about how unfair life is, how mean I am, how spoiled Noah is….all partially true ( except for me being mean!)
My protestation that I did the same with them before they when to school are met with utter disbelief and more wailing.
And then right on cue, Noah produces an empty packet of Smarties and wields it like a weapon in front of them…this is the last straw for them, I hear them say in unison that they are NEVER going to school again.
Noah frantically tries to backtrack, afraid the the precious ‘momma and me’ time will be snatched from him if his sisters stay at home. He quickly realises that he has to give them something, anything that will stem the wailing and the threats to NEVER go to school again. And then he says it….
The gorgeous shoes that I spotted on sale and was hoping to squirrel away until Christmas, he only goes and tells them…..
‘It’s ok girls, momma bought you new shoes, and I know where she did hide them’!!
Tell Tale Tatler…..

6 thoughts on “Tell Tale Tatler”

  1. hahahahahahaha LOVE IT!! Absolutely brilliant! And it's the same in this house too!!! Except my little darling (not!) tends to add "na na na na na!" when he tells the others he got jellies or an orange juice in the coffee shop. My MOST important job of the day without exception is crawling around in our 7 seater picking up pieces of tin foil from sweets so when he does brag, I can tell the screaming others that he's lying and he did NOT!

    1. Haha, hiding the evidence is an ESSENTIAL parenting skill, when the girls ask me why did Noah get such and such…I sometimes tell them he stole them in Tesco and I didn't notice till we were in the car!!!! I may be raising a hoard of thieves…and I've only myself to blame!

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