Small Children, Small Worries

You stand before me, the heartbreak etched across your face. 

There are no words to comfort you, and yet I try. 
My gorgeous happy girl, broken by the realisation that being sweet and kind and generous, for some, isn’t always enough.
I stand there, helpless, wishing with every fibre of my being that I could make it better. 
Like when you were little, and a magic kiss and a bandage made the bad stuff go away. 
But that isn’t enough anymore. 
The girl who skipped happily into school, now hesitates..
The girl who felt that just being herself was enough,doubts everything we have taught her. 
Why else would those girls group together as she approaches, why else would both the conversation and the laughter die as she joined in, why else would no one notice as she leaves the game, why else if it is not her…
My heart is broken to see your face as you tell me, and even more so when I realise that I can’t make it better. 
There is no magic kiss or special bandage that will make this go away.
As much as I would like to get these girls and show them how their insidious exclusion bulling is hurting you, I know it is pointless because there is always going to be these girls…the ‘too cool for school’, street wise kids who will be so far ahead in the street cred stakes but light years behind on the empathy ones!
School, work and life is full of them, people for whom being popular is paramount and is often achieved at personal cost to others.
Hiding you from this is not an option.
And so, I have to return you to the frey, I have to stand back and hope that we have done enough and continue to do enough to let you know that you are amazing and wonderful and what these girls think matters for nothing. 
To keep reminding you that one good friend is worth a thousand flaky one. 
To keep building and cementing the belief that being you is not only good enough, it is amazing, and that regardless of popularity, choosing kindness is the best way to live.
I think wistfully when I had complete control of the environment that you were in, but that is no longer the case.
And so now I must trust that somewhere along the road we got enough right to get you through.
Small children, small problems, in my sleep deprived state I never really got this…sadly I do now.

8 thoughts on “Small Children, Small Worries”

  1. Heartbroken for you. I was that kid all through school, it isn't easy and it must be as hard to have to watch and not be able to do anything. Little girls can be so awful (teenage girls can be worse 🙁 ) and it is so horrible to be on the receiving end. Hopefully she will see them for what they are; not worthy of her loveliness, sooner rather than later, and find friends who treat her nicely and are true friends. Best of luck with it, it will get easier at some point… Working on making sure my fella stays this age I think, where the biggest problem he has is not wanting to go to bed…

  2. It's torture to watch. My daughter had a similar episode. But she has become more resilient for it. Discussed coping mechanisms and with assistance from the teacher who encouraged inclusion within the class she has grown into a stronger and better person for it. She is a acutely aware of who is the underdog and standsup for them.

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